


i'll be waiting (time after time)

by quietlyincandescent



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Fantasy, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Angst, F/F, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Heavy Angst, M/M, domestic abuse, hmm this is kinda sad im sorry, jily, more characters + relationships to be added, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-03-27
Updated: 2018-03-27
Packaged: 2019-04-08 17:43:02
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14110653
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quietlyincandescent/pseuds/quietlyincandescent
Summary: somewhere there’s a universe where remus and sirius are happy together - maybe celebrating their thirtieth anniversary or renting an apartment for the first time or something disgusting and domestic and perfect.it’s too bad this isn’t it.(or : remus travels the multiverse in search of happiness, and everywhere he goes, he falls in love with sirius only to be torn away from him.)





	i'll be waiting (time after time)

**Author's Note:**

> title for work from time after time, by cyndi lauper.
> 
> title for chapter i from forrest gump by frank ocean & thinkin bout you, also by frank ocean.

{prologue : heartbeat}

 

Remus doesn’t know exactly how it began.

Well. That’s partially true.

He doesn’t know how he began traveling between universes, just that one day he wished he could be anyone else and suddenly - he wasn’t anyone else. His heartbeat was the same, his hair was the same, his lanky, awkward frame was the same. He was him in a different world (timeline? He still isn’t sure what the proper terminology is), and that was good enough for his sixteen year old self.

Remus does know how this began, though - the constant hunt, want, love, and eventually, heartbreak. He knows that in some universe he’ll be happy with Sirius. He knows that in some universe he’ll never want to go to a different timeline again.

He just hasn’t found it yet.

 

{chapter i : forrest gump // thinkin bout you}

 

“Hey!” someone yells, and Remus turns around. _What the hell,_ he thinks, checking his clothes. A moment ago his father was yelling at him about something stupid he can’t even remember and Remus wished he could be anyone else and now -

He’s in the middle of the street, and a boy is staring at him. “Hey,” the boy repeats, quieter this time. “Are you all right?”

“Y-yeah,” Remus says.

“Then get out of the street, you arse,” the boy snaps. “You’re going to get run over.”

“Right.” He doesn’t move, and the boy runs toward him, dragging him toward the pavement.

“Are you trying to die? Like, seriously, are you attempting suicide? You don’t - your response didn’t seem like someone who wanted to die, but either way - do you have parents? I can drive you home if you want.” He fidgets. “Well, I can’t drive you, but my friend can, and he’s only a block or so down.”

“What’s your name?” Remus blurts.

“Oh,” the boy says. “Sorry, forgot to say. It’s James. What about you?”

“Remus,” he replies, and James snickers. “Oi,” he says indignantly despite himself.

“Sorry, that’s just,” James pauses, “a terrible name. You’re going to get along great with my friend; his name’s awful too. You didn’t answer my question, by the way. Do you have parents?”

“I’m not sure,” Remus answers after a moment. James wrinkles his brow.

“Okay,” he says. “C’mon, then. You can stay with us.”

Remus nods - checks his pockets, relieved to find his bracelet and a phone. _Wait,_ he thinks as James drags him away. _You don’t have a phone_. He unlocks it - of course his password is his birthday, because of _course_ he’s that dumb - and looks through his texts.

_Marlene [10 minutes ago] : hey you can’t stay with your parents anymore i get that but please remus don’t do this_

_Marlene [7 minutes ago] : remus? respond to me don’t kill yourself_

_Marlene [2 minutes ago] : i’ll call the police i swear i will_

Remus quickly responds. _Don’t worry,_ he types. _Decided not to go through. Some kid is taking me to his car now. Text back when you can._

“So my parents are shitty here too,” he mutters, and James looks back.

“Did you say something?” he asks. Remus shakes his head. “Okay, here we are.” Another boy peeks his head through the driver’s window - stares.

“The hell are you?” he asks, and James glares. “Sorry, I just - no, I’m not sorry. The hell are you?”

“I’m, um, Remus,” Remus stammers. “Remus Lupin.”

“Sirius,” the boy drawls, sticking out a hand. “Black.” Remus shakes it. “Did James kidnap you?”

“I - er - no,” Remus says. “Not exactly.”

“All right,” Sirius says. “Get in, then.” Remus awkwardly climbs into the back of the car - bright red, with lightning streaks hand painted onto the sides - and sits with his hands primly folded on his lap. “Well, Jamesie,” Sirius continues, “do we have a destination for this one, or is he to accompany us on a lifelong journey to find love and friendship in this desolate city?”

“I can’t tell whether you’re serious,” Remus says truthfully, and James groans.

“Of course I’m Sirius,” he says. “Because that’s my name.”

“God,” Remus laughs, running a hand through his hair.

“Hey, Remus,” James says, voice once again gentle, “I know you were in shock before, but we do need an answer. Do you have parents?”

“Technically,” Remus answers delicately, “yes. But I - I can’t go home.” Sirius stares at him, and his heart begins to thud.

“D’you want to stay with me for a little bit?” he asks. “I mean, I just rented a flat, and I need someone to help keep the place tidy.”

“Like Snow White,” Remus says.

“Are you calling me a dwarf?” Sirius asks, scowling. Remus starts to stutter out an answer, and he laughs. “Joking. Though you could be the fairest - not maiden, but - person in the land.” He winks. Remus looks away.

“Oi,” James snaps. “We just met him.”

“And?” Sirius returns.

“Just - start the damn car,” he sighs. Sirius whoops as the engine revs to life, making it seem as if this is a teen movie instead of a dreary day in London. (At least, Remus thinks this is London. He’s not really sure where he is.) “By the way,” James says, “I think it would be better for you to stay with me. Sirius’s parents might drop by his place - ”

“They won’t,” Sirius scoffs, and James steadily ignores him.

“And I don’t think you’d want to meet them,” he finishes. “So stay with me until Sirius has it figured out, or until someone else picks you up. I dunno.”

“Okay,” Remus agrees, still not quite understanding what’s going on.

They arrive at a large brick house. “James’s place,” Sirius explains. “His parents are really nice.”

“You’re staying with me?” James asks, looking hopeful. Remus pauses for a moment before nodding. “Okay, come in, then. Shoes off or my parents talk about how you’re stepping on God or something.” He shakes his head. “It’s not even a religious thing; they’re just Indian and don't know how else to justify it other than ‘cultural reasons’.”

“Keeping your shoes on inside the house is disgusting,” Sirius offers. “That’s a reason.” They all enter, and a woman who Remus assumes is James’s mother hugs all three of them before he’s even fully registered he’s inside yet.

“Oh, hello! James, Sirius, er…”

“Remus,” Remus says weakly, face stuffed into James’s mother’s shoulder. She pulls back and stares at him for a moment before pinching his cheeks.

“You’re a cute one,” she says, throwing a meaningful look at Sirius, who just glares in return. “Are you staying for dinner?”

“Yeah, and a bit longer, according to James,” Remus says, scratching his sweater. “If that’s all right with you, of course, or else I can just leave.”

“Mate,” James says. “You’re staying with me. You can’t leave; we agreed on this.”

“Oh,” Remus replies. “Okay.” Sirius snickers.

“What are we having today, Euphemia?” he asks with a dazzling smile. James’s mother - Euphemia - rolls her eyes.

“Not sure yet,” she says, “since your father hasn’t gotten home yet even though it’s six o’clock and he promised he’d be here by five. Maybe baked ziti.” James wrinkles his nose.

“Sounds white,” he says, and then glances at Remus. “No offense.”

“None taken.”

“It’s a recipe I got from a cooking class I’m taking,” Euphemia says smoothly, though she looks frazzled. “We’re testing it out today. If you don’t like it, I’ll make that chicken curry you and your father like so much tomorrow, okay? I told him to pick up the meat on the way home.” James shrugs noncommittally. “Remus, you’re staying for a few days at the least, right?”

“Only if it’s okay with you,” Remus says quickly. “Or else I’ll - I’ll find someone else; it won’t be that hard.”

“No,” she says firmly. “We have the room here,” she looks at the bruise on Remus’s cheek and collarbone sympathetically, “and you’re welcome to stay for as long as you’d like.”

“I - thank you.” _I don’t belong here,_ he thinks. _Not with you and not in this world._

Dinner with James’s family gives Remus a warm feeling he hasn’t had in years. When he was on his world (the real world doesn’t seem quite right; everything here is tangible and his dreams are never this vivid), he rarely ate with his family, for all the better. He never had many friends, either. If he disappeared from that universe, he’s not sure if he would be missed by anyone. (Though he might’ve just switched spots with another Remus. He should probably figure out what’s going on, but he feels too happy to care much.)

“Is anyone looking for you, Remus?” James’s father, Fleamont, asks. Sirius stops attacking his baked ziti to stare.

“Um, I have a friend,” Remus says slowly, picking at his food. “Marlene. I dunno where she is, though; she hasn’t texted me back yet.” Fleamont sighs.

“No one else?” he asks. Remus shakes his head.

“Not that I can think of.” He swallows. “My parents might be, but I don’t really want them to find me.”

“That’s awful,” Sirius says, looking intently at his food. “That’s fucking - that’s awful,” he repeats. Euphemia’s eyes flicker between the two of them.

“Well,” she says for the fourth time, “you can stay for as long as you want. It’s good timing that Sirius found the flat last week, or we’d have three boys in the house right now. It’s chaotic enough with two.” She laughs lightly.

“Do you go to school?” Fleamont asks. Remus pauses, trying to recall what he’d read in his texts with Marlene.

“No,” he says finally. “I graduated a year early, and my parents wouldn’t let me go to sixth form.”

“You can apply to sixth form colleges with me and Sirius,” James says, and Euphemia nods. Remus can’t stop a grin from spreading across his face.

“Thank you,” he says after they all finish eating, “so much, Mr. and Mrs. Potter. And James and Sirius. Thank you.”

“Please,” Euphemia says graciously. “Call us Euphemia and Fleamont.”

Remus, despite being in a completely different universe, thinks he’s never been more content in his life.

-

Sirius comes over for dinner twice a week, and he, James, and Remus go out at least three times a week. “You know what’s weird?” he says one day as they’re all sprawled out on the grass, limbs entangled, watching the stars.

“You know what’s weird?” he repeats, turning his face so his eyes meet Remus’s. “I didn’t know you a month ago, but at the same time I feel like I’ve known you, like, forever or something. That’s cliche.” He closes his eyes. “But it’s true.”

Remus’s throat closes up, as it tends to do whenever Sirius says something earnest and a little beautiful. “Yeah,” he manages, voice rough. “Me too.”

Marlene visits sometimes. The first time he saw her she started crying, and he cried too, somehow feeling all the emotions of an old friendship without the memories actually being there. They’re starting to come in, accompanying all the memories of original Remus. It scares him a little bit - how vividly he can remember being in this world when he wasn’t meant to be here.

James sighs, drawing Remus out of his thoughts. “The stars are pretty,” he says dreamily. “This is the only place you can see them in London.” He pauses. “Lily showed me how to get here.” Sirius and Remus both groan. “What? She’s - she’s cute.”

“She’s one of my closest friends,” Sirius says darkly. “I fucking know she’s cute, but she’s all you’ve been talking about for the past six years.”

“And she’s finally friends with me, which is all I really want,” James persists. Sirius and Remus exchange exasperated glances.

“Sure it is,” Remus says, rolling his eyes. He grins. “I think she might like you.” James visibly brightens, and Sirius snorts.

“Really?” he asks, and Remus nods. “You’re not screwing with me?”

“I’m not that bad,” Remus says, offended. James grins.

“Cool,” he replies, and he stretches, laughing when Remus and Sirius are forced to move closer to each other to get away from him. “Cool.”

-

The first time Sirius asks Remus to hang out without James, it’s only because James has a ridiculously high fever. “I still want to go to the movies,” he whines, pulling Remus outside. “Please.”

“Yeah, okay,” Remus agrees, but just because he also wants to go to the movies. (Really. It has nothing to do with Sirius’s smile or the way he grabs Remus’s wrist, firm and gentle.)

“Oh, good. I was going to threaten to lick you if you didn’t.” Remus raises an eyebrow.

“Charming.” Sirius grins.

“Aren’t I?”

They arrive at an unfamiliar street, and Remus pauses. “This isn’t the movies.”

“You’re a bright one,” Sirius sighs. “Yeah, halfway there I realized that the movies are boring, so we’re going for ice cream instead.” He shushes Remus. “Don’t argue. You know you’re happy with ice cream.”

“Fine,” Remus agrees after a moment. “Fine. But you’re buying, and I’m getting three scoops of double chocolate.”

“I know you’re trying to make me regret this, but I’m friends with the owner’s daughter, so I get a discount on everything. Also, what’s your deal with chocolate?” he asks. Remus stares at him, affronted.

“It’s delicious,” he says plainly. “Possibly the best food to ever have been made.” Sirius snickers.

“Personally, I’m more of a vanilla person,” he offers. Remus rolls his eyes.

“Yeah,” he sighs, “of course you are.”

“The hell’s that supposed to mean?”

“Nothing,” Remus says innocently, walking into the ice cream parlor. “Just that you’re exactly the type of person to have inferior taste buds.”

“Oh, fuck off - Alice!” Sirius says. A pretty, vivacious looking girl waves at him. “Hey, it’s been forever.”

“Four days,” Alice corrects. She glances at Remus - rolls her eyes. “He has an addiction to ice cream, I swear.” Remus decides he likes her.

“How often do you go here?” he asks, and Sirius smiles at him.

“Unimportant,” he says breezily. “What is important is that this is the best ice cream parlor in all of London.”

“It’s true,” Alice agrees. “Though I might be biased. What’ll it be for you two today?”

“Two scoops of vanilla in a plain waffle cone, please,” Sirius says, glaring at Remus.

“And I’d like a double chocolate chunk in a chocolate waffle cone, chocolate drizzle on top, please,” Remus counters. Alice glances between the two of them, a smile playing at her lips.

“Separate bills, or…”

“One,” Sirius says quickly.

“One,” Remus agrees.

“I’m assuming Sirius is paying?” Alice asks, and Sirius nods. “Of course. Well, I’ll see you in a few days. It was nice meeting you, er - ”

“Remus,” Remus says, and Alice giggles.

“Sorry, it’s just - um. It was nice meeting you, Remus.”

-

“You lot are boring,” James says as Sirius lays his head on Remus’s lap, Remus’s hands idly stroking his hair.

“Says you,” Remus shoots back, biting his lip to keep from smiling. “I could bring up all the times you’ve spoken about Lily for the entire time I’ve known you - ”

“Irrelevant,” James says, “and fuck off.”

“And her _hair,_ ” Sirius croons, “it’s like - it’s like a damn forest fire.”

“Oi - ”

“Her _eyes_ ,” Remus continues, “they’re so green. They remind me of spring, except cooler and prettier.” James glares petulantly as Sirius and Remus laugh. They meet eyes for a moment, staring for a little too long. “Um - ”

“I should,” Sirius jumps off Remus’s lap, fixing his hair and scurrying away, “get out of here.” James rolls his eyes.

“Remus, go see him out,” he orders, and when Remus starts to protest, he glares.

“Okay,” he says, and he walks Sirius out the door. “What the hell is up with him?” he asks, laughing, and Sirius just stares at him. “Um -”

It’s almost like a movie - Sirius cups his face in his hands, pulls him close, and kisses him. It feels quiet, somehow, and warm, though that makes no sense. “See you later, Remus,” he says gently.

“I - yeah - see you - er - see you later,” he manages.

-

“You never told me exactly what was up with your parents,” Remus says one day as he and Sirius are both in his room, listening to some indie band he doesn’t particularly like or hate. “Like, why you moved out.”

“Oh,” Sirius says, clearing his throat. “They weren’t - good with me being gay. Wanted me to settle down with a nice young lady.” His voice turns a little sharp, and when he smiles, it’s like a shark’s fin in the water. “When I decided I had enough, they didn’t handle it well.”

“Do you have any siblings?” Remus asks quietly.

“A little brother,” Sirius says, his tone soft. “He’s a nasty bugger, but we’re - we were close. I dunno if he doesn’t talk to me because he doesn’t want to or because he’s scared of my parents.”

“Does he know where you are?”

“God,” Sirius says, throwing his head back. “No. None of my family does, or I’d - I’d probably be dead, to be completely honest. You?”

“I don’t have any siblings, no,” Remus says, his second reality coming to him almost more easily than his first. “And my parents don’t know where I am. That’s why I can’t stay with Marlene; they know I’m friends with her. That’s the first place they’d look.” Sirius grins wryly.

“They knew I was friends with James,” he says. “But Euphemia’s excellent at diverting people and hiding teenagers.” He pauses. “Anyway, we’re both safe now, and we will be for a long time, hopefully, so it’s all good, right?”

“Yeah,” Remus agrees, though his insides feel uneasy for some reason. “Yeah, it is.”

-

“Hey,” Sirius yells from outside Remus’s window. “Get out here.” Remus opens the window and stares.

“You could just call me,” he says after a beat. “Like a normal person.” Sirius smiles.

“That’s not as romantic,” he replies, winking. Remus blushes despite himself. “Seriously, though. I have to show you something.”

“Should I grab James?”

“No,” Sirius says, a bit quickly. “No, I just - c’mon.” Remus hurries down, forgetting to put on a coat even though it’s twenty degrees outside. When Sirius sees him, he wordlessly takes off his leather jacket and puts it around Remus, who blushes more. He grabs his hand and pulls him toward the city. “It’s Christmas Eve, you know,” he says, and Remus nods. “That’s usually, like, a big thing at the Potter house. You got gifts for them, right?”

“Yeah,” Remus says, idly letting himself be dragged by Sirius. “You’re coming over, yeah?” Sirius nods.

“See, I spent like, years trying to figure out what to get for you,” he says, and Remus raises an eyebrow.

“You’ve known me for four months,” he deadpans.

“ _Years_ ,” Sirius insists, still dragging Remus forward. “And then I realized you’re the type of person that would probably be happy with anything because you’re boring.” Remus tries to protest, but Sirius shushes him. “That made me even more determined to get you the best Christmas present in the world.”

“Oh?” Remus asks, realizing they’re at the block where he first met Sirius. (Whenever he comes here, he remembers that he doesn’t belong no matter how hard he tries, but he’ll ignore that for the time being.)

“Oh,” Sirius replies, staring at Remus. He gets down on one knee, pulling out a chocolate ring (how is it still cold? It would’ve had to be in his pocket for half an hour, at least), and Remus starts to giggle. “Oi! Remus Lupin, would - stop laughing, you arse - would you do me the honor of being my boyfriend?”

“Yes,” Remus finally wheezes, taking the chocolate ring and popping it into his mouth. “I would.” Sirius grins.

“Merry Christmas, Remus,” he says. “Was this the best gift I ever could’ve gotten you?”

“I mean, there’s this vinyl I really wanted - ” Sirius punches his arm. “Ouch! Okay, yes. Yes, this was the best gift. You’re lovely.”

-

New Year’s Eve is, to be honest, terrifying. James invited all his friends, and he’s really popular at his school (Remus can’t imagine why a nerd such as James would be popular, but here he is anyhow), so Euphemia’s house is crowded with almost everyone from their school while she and Fleamont are visiting New York.

“You know the New Year’s tradition, right?” Sirius asks, fixing his bowtie.

“The kiss?” Remus replies with a small grin.

“Indeed,” Sirius confirms. “Kissing is good. We have ten minutes to kill before kissing.”

“Or,” Remus suggests, “we could get a head start.”

“This is why you’re a genius,” Sirius says, leaning in. They’re interrupted (as they always seem to be) by James and Lily, who are both cooing as if Remus and Sirius are characters on television rather than their friends.

“You’re both so cute,” Lily says, ruffling Remus’s hair. “Oh, your hair’s really soft. What conditioner do you use?”

“Whatever James uses,” Remus says. Lily turns to James.

“How come your hair’s not as soft as his?”

“He douses his hair in my conditioner,” James explains, and Lily _ah_ s understandingly. “He doesn’t use a healthy amount.” Sirius clears his throat.

“I’d appreciate it if you two could avoid interrupting us every time we’re about to kiss,” he says, a false edge in his voice. Lily sees through it and grins.

“We’re just proud parents - ”

“Both of you are younger than me,” Sirius interrupts.

“And you guys are really cute,” she finishes. “By the way, everyone’s counting down to New Year’s in like, a minute, so come to the living room with us.” Sirius gets up, grumbling about how Lily and James are possibly the lamest people on Earth. Remus can’t say he disagrees.

“Ten,” everyone is chanting downstairs, and Sirius whoops. He kisses Remus two seconds before it’s officially the new year, but it’s okay, because they’re still kissing past when the bell tolls.

“Happy New Year, Sirius,” Remus says after they pull apart. Sirius grins.

“Happy New Year.”

-

It ends too soon. (It always ends too soon, Remus thinks bitterly, but this time it’s spectacular.) It’s late April, and Remus and is lying down on the couch, watching some old television show while scrolling through Instagram. His phone begins to ring, and he picks it up.

“Hello?” he asks.

“They found me,” Sirius gasps. “I have to - I can’t stay here any more. I have to leave the country. Regulus warned me; they’ll be here soon. I love you. Remember that, okay? I love you.”

“Wait, what the hell - who found you?” Remus asks, a pit forming in his stomach. “Your parents? Where are you going? Just come over here. James and I can protect you; you don’t have to leave the country - ”

“They’re dangerous,” Sirius says. “They’re armed; most of my cousins are coming too - my parents were part of a gang, Remus. That’s why I never talk about when I grew up. They’re part of a gang and they’re going to murder me - and you if they find out we’re together. I have to leave.”

“I’ll go with you,” Remus says, his voice tarlike and slow. “I’ll go wherever you’re going. Please, don’t leave.”

“I can’t ever see you again or they will kill you,” Sirius says urgently. “Okay, so that’s why you need to remember I love you and I will always love you for as long as I live. Shit, they’re opening the door; I’m hanging up on you now - ”

Remus hears a bang.

“Sirius?” he asks, hearing screams on the other side before a dial tone rings. “James!” he yells. “James! Call the police. Tell them to go to Sirius’s apartment, I think he - I have to go there - ”

No one responds. “James? James, where the hell are you - ” _He’s at Sirius’s flat,_ Remus realizes. _Oh my god._

By the time he gets there, all that’s left are bloodstains and a young man that looks almost like Sirius. “Who - where are my friends?” he asks, voice shaking. “Where’s Sirius?”

The man looks up, stonefaced, and it’s only then that Remus notices a wound in his stomach. “Sirius is gone. He told me you’d look for him; he said,” he winces, “never to tell you where he was. James left before we arrived, thank god. He should - he should leave the country too, though. He’s not safe here.”

“Are you - you’re Regulus,” Remus says, and a moment after he adds, “you’re dying.” Regulus grins Sirius’s grin before stumbling backwards.

“Sirius said you were a smart one.”

“I’ll - I’ll call the ambulance, hold on -”

“If you do I’ll have a triple life penalty waiting for me,” Regulus says. “Let me die. Please.” He breathes in shakily. “I’m sorry.”

Regulus dies in Remus’s arms, talking about how he’s really sorry and how he sees why Sirius loved him so much. Remus stares at the slowly cooling body he’s now holding, dropping it unceremoniously and immediately feeling guilty.

 _You can travel universes,_ he thinks. _You did it once; you can do it again._

“I’ll find you,” he says, looking at where Sirius should be. “Even if it takes a million timelines.”

He closes his eyes - focuses. _I wish I could be anyone else._

{fin.}

**Author's Note:**

> this chapter is kinda abrupt nd poorly written oops btu it'll get better!!
> 
> if u like aus Such As This One or other aus whether they b disgustingly fluffy or horrifically angsty or somewhere in between, check out the [hogwarts au net](https://hogwartsaunet.tumblr.com) on tumblr, a place for any and all harry potter related aus!
> 
> if you want to talk to me (pls do !!! i love interacting w you guys), leave a comment or contact me on my [tumblr](http://diggorycedric.co.vu)!


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